the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
being pregnant is like rehab
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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