I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
