bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am naked and annoyed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
