Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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