How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All I want is dick and wine.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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