there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
