New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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