I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
