Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
