Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
