Just fell off a train. Bad.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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