How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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