you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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