You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just found puke in my bra..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
