Where did you get a picture of my penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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