This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
is wine microwaveable?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
