Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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