THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
