I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
