I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
