I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
