Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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