Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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