There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
