Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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