It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
