hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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