i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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