Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Found the puke drawer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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