Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
