So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
