We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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