i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
