I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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