Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
