Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
