So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
