There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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