So drunk, too bad you don't want this
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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