I cannot find my penis.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
