Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
