My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
