she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
