She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
