The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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