Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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