Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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