Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
