one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
