? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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